Mamang,
I’ve seen you hurting more every time you see me crying,
I’ve heard you wishing to take my pain just to see me happy,
I’ve felt your love even when there are times I hated you so much,
I’ve tasted your happiness and pride when you cheered at my achievements…
You have unselfishly dedicated your life to me, when you could be someone else, somewhere else,
You feed me with the remaining piece of bread even when you are still hungry,
You have me defended against life’s demons,
Your hands are scarred with hard work, just to give me the things that I want (not even a need),
You lost your health when you thought I was lost & left home (I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again),
While I was undergoing a surgery a couple of months ago, I searched for your face, your comforting voice, your gentle touch among the crowd…
But I choose not to let you know,
Because I know you will worry too much.
But honestly, I was secretly wishing you were there…
Because I fear that I may never see your loving face again if I die.
Many years ago, God might have anticipated I needed an angel here on earth,
He didn’t give me someone that I want,
Instead He gave me someone that I need.
Someone…
Bigger than love,
Deeper than faith,
Brighter than hope…
If God will asked me now what I fear the most?
It’s loosing you…
I think I’ll never be able to bear it.
Because I have found no other person who loved me more than you do.
Who thinks of me more than they think of themselves.
Who forgives me when I least deserve it.
If God will grant me with only one wish now.
I’ll choose to grant you with all the happiness in the world…
Even that, can’t repay the goodness that your heart beholds.
Even that, is not enough for someone like you who deserves only the best.
Sometimes, I wonder what your heart is made of.
Why is it so resilient and tough and soft?
Sometimes I wonder if you ever have a dream about yourself.
Because it seems like you only think about ours.
Sometimes I wonder if you want to be happy too.
Because you sacrifice to live the life you’ve always wanted, just because I am already here.
Sometimes I wonder if you don’t know how to fight back.
Because you still love me with all your heart even when I fight with you.
Sometimes I wonder if you were ever wrong.
Because you were always right.
When I am old and forgetful,
I only want to remember the times when you fought for my war when I don’t have the strength to face it.
The times when you first taught me how to say “Thank you” and “I’m sorry”,
To walk and talk,
To smile and be strong,
To sing and dance,
To pray and to love,
(But you never taught me how to be unhappy…)
Mamang, there are a lot of times when life seems to be too much for me,
When hope, faith and love failed me.
But you know what keeps me going?
It is just by thinking how hurt and devastated you will be when I’m gone.
So if ever you think that you are just a nobody,
Please think again.
I am just one soul
Being saved and loved by an angel like you.
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